eNauczanie

Take a gander at all the dating websites out there and you’ll undoubtedly feast your eyes on the universally written article concerning date nookie.

They’ve all grappled with figuring out when it’s right to go on a date and put out, whether it’s the first date, or the date landing somewhere towards the last few in a series of 12.

There’s still no definitive answer, and we always end up winging it and hoping for the best.

The story goes:

You meet a guy online and your attraction to him is so intense you could slice your skin open and project silicone lubricant all over the ceiling, and his attraction to you is so extreme that he’s been to the chiropractor 3 times to have his right arm adjusted.

You should probably just lay it down because you’re both dying for it, but both of you are playing it cool, doing the courtship bit, letting the other call X amount of times before you’ll call them back, letting it go to voicemail, etc.

Just how many dates are appropriate before you should get down to getting sweaty and funky? How many times should a person turn you down before they’ll eventually end up doing what you’re going to end up doing anyway?

For women it’s rough because as I’ve mentioned before, guys and casual sex go together like milk and cookies, while women are easily left getting attached and pining for a deeper connection. It’s a pretty big compromise and an even bigger gamble in deciding what’s right for us.

Some women (and men) think a few dates arriving at around a monetary amount of $300.00 is justifiable enough for sex, even though the guy doesn’t even text, let along call during the week to see if you’re still alive and breathing. And some women think it’s okay to proceed with sex when the guy hasn’t even spent a single dime, but is calling all hours of the day and night and is really “persistent”.

Well, we can narrow this “gray area” down greatly by BASING IT ON EXACTLY WHAT THIS GUY HASN’T DONE TO DESERVE IT.

• He shouldn’t be resorting to lazy communication.

I have mentioned this no less than 13,000 times but it must be nailed down in stone.

If a guy doesn’t bother to call, at least everyday, and he makes up a ton of excuses that’s he’s been too busy, that he forgot, that he’s been out of town, that he’s this or that, HE DOESN’T DESERVE YOUR TIME, much less that thing you got between your legs he’s too lazy to chase after like a man who really wants it does and should.

Why should you give it up when he doesn’t even want to partake in what is required to get it? Is paying you the bare minimum amount of attention really all it takes? Sounds to me like a pretty reasonable and CHEAP barter system. You get nothing and he gets everything. No wonder he doesn’t want to try, he doesn’t have to.

• He shouldn’t be a dick when you decide tonight’s not the night

If a guy starts acting like a temperamental 2-year old when you tell him after the 3^rd date you’re not ready yet, and you feel him sandwiching you between the wall and that icky feeling of nookie guilt, HE DOESN’T DESERVE IT. In fact, the sore losery guy who broods after you say no, is a guy who is used to every other chick giving him exactly what he wants. He’s used to getting the ass every time he waves his finger and acting like a snot-nosed baby for him is his master manipulative tool.

In fact, HE HIMSELF IS MANIPULATIVE TOOL. Cross him off the list and get the hell on with it. He’ll never amount to jack squat.

• He shouldn’t have to spend hours and hours trying to convince you that it’s the right decision.

A guy trying earnestly to talk a woman into having sex reminds me of the mechanic who tries to sell you a whole new transmission when you’re only there for a tune up. The bottom line is, he’s trying to f*ck you and not in the way you sincerely hope.

If he’s trying to talk you into having sex because “it’s just so right, and things would be even better if, and somehow you’ll get better connected when”….. he gets to see what color the hood of your clitoris is, bag him up and toss him into the nearest bonfire.

Honestly, if a guy really likes you and is seriously interested in you, HE’S NOT GOING TO TRY TO F*CK YOU AT ALL.

• He shouldn’t be sitting on the fence waiting to take it to the next level.

It’s incongruous these days that most people (minus those who just want to ball) instinctively want “commitment” but they want sex before the issue of commitment is even mulled over, much less discussed. That’s like putting the glue on wooden chair legs before the pegs have been shaved down enough to fit.

You don’t even have a basis upon which to expect commitment when the issue hasn’t even been brought up. Yeah, other people might tell you it’s psychotic for a woman to ask a man “where this is going” at any point during the initial phases of a budding relationship. On the contrary, I say it’s totally sane to bring it up IF THAT’S WHAT YOU WANT BEFORE YOU’LL CONSIDER GIVING IT UP.

Why beat around the bush? You’ll get to cut to the chase in having him level with you. He’ll either say yay or nay, AND YOU’LL GET TO SAVE FACE.

• He shouldn’t have a ton of other options available to him, if YOU’RE HIS TRUE CHOICE.

Say you met this guy on a dating site and you’ve been seeing each other for a few weeks. You think you’re hitting it off reasonably well and you see he’s still on there every night chatting it up with other chicks. WTF?

A guy who is still seeing other chicks, online, out in the open, in person or in secret, IS NOT SERIOUS ABOUT YOU IN THE LEAST BIT. In fact, the more chicks he’s seeing, the less likely he is serious about any of you, much less you, even though you think have a fair chance in standing out from the crowd.

Additionally, why do you want to be just another number in some dude’s long sluttish succession?

I can’t speak for every woman but a guy whose slept with a ton of women is total turn off for me.

Don’t settle for what every other woman’s had unless you are content with chowing down on someone else’s leftover cold dinner wrapped up in soiled doggy bag.

First date, second date, third date. It’s pretty much a game of charades and most of us pretend not to feel ill at ease at the thought of getting f*cked and dumped. Unless of course you’re a freak from hell and that’s your thing.

At any rate, don’t place value on the number of dates and whether or not he pays as to whether or not you should jump in the sack. PLACE VALUE ON THE GUY DOING ALL THE THINGS HE SHOULD BE DOING, AND ISN’T DOING, OUTSIDE OF THE BEDROOM.